Monday, March 9, 2009
'Teacher's Pet'; Buffy Season 1, Episode 4
Xander rescues slinky dressed clad Buffy from a vampire in the Bronze and concludes his heroism with a guitar solo as Buffy looks on with supreme adoration. Suddenly, Buffy tells him he's drooling as poor Xander wakes up in science class. And we all thought that was real. Oh well!
Buffy: "Destructo Girl. That's me."
The science teacher, Dr. Gregory, is the only teacher who seems to have any faith that Buffy won't destroy the school. So, of course, he dies a horrible death as soon as she leaves the room.
At the Bronze, Xander has his manliness tested by some fellow high school boys and tries to be a pimp with Buffy and Willow. Willow is SO into it, but Buffy sees Angel stalking the shadows and is entranced. He gives her his leather jacket, which looks quite adorable on her (although most of us are probably distracted by Angel's very very nice arms). And he warns her about an evil fork-handed vampire.
The next day, Buffy's wearing the leather jacket, and a very skanky looking older woman walks by causing Xander's mouth to fall open. We find out she is Miss French, the substitute science teacher, who likes to eat bugs and twist her neck all the way around.
Buffy: "We're talking full on exorcist twist."
Cordelia finds Dr. Gregory without a head in the freezer and Buffy and Willow mourn his loss with Giles. Buffy goes off to hunt for fork-guy and sees that Miss French scares him away.
Buffy: "So I'm an undead monster that can shave with my hand. How many things am I afraid of?"
Miss French tells Xander to come to her house that night to work on the egg sac science project, while Buffy, Willow, and Giles research and discover she is a praying mantis. Xander chalks this up to Buffy being jealous and goes off to her house anyway. Miss French drugs him and her buggy self starts to show through more. Grosssss. She lets the human glamor wear off and the giant praying mantis lady drags Xander into her basement cage, where another student, Blayne, is also caged.
Willow: "No, no, no! See? Xander's, I like his head! I-it's where you find his eyes, and his hair, and his adorable smile!"
Off they go to rescue Xander. After going to the wrong house, Buffy finds fork-guy and has his fear lead them to the correct house as the praying mantis lady is getting ready to mate with Xander. Upon finding the right house, she kills fork-guy and they break into the house. The bat sonar makes the praying mantis go all wonky, Buffy chops her into bits, Xander destroys the egg sacs, and Willow kills Xander and Blayne's masculinity by proclaiming Miss French only went after virgins.
Back to the Bronze, Angel congratulates her on destroying the fork-guy.
Buffy: "Well... Anyway, you can have your jacket back."
Angel: "It looks better on you."
*dreamy sigh* Oh, Angel. Anyway, the ending is rather ambiguous because we see the eggs Miss French laid with Dr. Gregory open in the science closet. Dun dun dun!
This may not be a stellar episode by any means, but you have to enjoy the hilarity of a giant praying mantis. Plus, this is one of the most referenced episodes throughout the series. Poor Xander and his awesome luck with the 'ladies.'